Being in an on-and-off relationship can have a negative impact on your mental health. It’s important to break the cycle to protect your well-being.
An on-and-off relationship is when a couple repeatedly breaks up and reconciles over a period of time, often facing the same issues each time. This pattern can be damaging and distressing for both partners involved. Relationships like these can lead to emotional fatigue, disappointment, and frustration, with no positive outcomes. Here’s why on-and-off relationships are toxic.
What is an on-and-off relationship?
In an on-and-off relationship, the couple breaks up and gets back together because they find comfort in the familiarity and intimacy of the relationship. However, they often realize why they broke up in the first place and end up repeating the cycle. This pattern can be difficult to break as it offers a mix of excitement and predictability, despite being distressing and unhealthy, as pointed out by relationship coach and psychotherapist Rohini Kesavan Rajeev.
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What are the signs of an on-and-off relationship?
To identify if you are in an on-and-off relationship, look out for these signs:
- Breaking up and getting back together after a few months, only to face the same issues leading to another breakup.
- Constant tension and sensitivity in the relationship, with extreme mood swings when together.
- Mistrust between partners.
- Poor communication patterns.
Why is an on-and-off relationship toxic?
According to a study published in Personal Relationships, people in on-and-off relationships tend to report more negative aspects like uncertainty and communication issues, while the positives like love and understanding are lacking. Here are some reasons why these relationships can be toxic:
1. Increased self-doubt
The instability and repetitiveness of on-and-off relationships can cause self-doubt and emotional turmoil, affecting mental health negatively.
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2. Emotional fatigue
Partners in on-and-off relationships often experience doubt, fatigue, volatility, and frustration. Open communication and empathy are essential for a healthier relationship.
Also read: 7 signs you’re in a healthy and fulfilling relationship
3. Violent fights
Arguments in on-and-off relationships can escalate into physical and verbal abuse, requiring caution and intervention to prevent harm.
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4. Deep insecurity
Commitment issues and unresolved conflicts can lead to deep insecurities in partners in on-and-off relationships.
5. Distressing
These relationships create instability and distress, causing partners to fear future relationships and experiences.
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6. Unhealthy attachment style
Partners in on-and-off relationships often form unhealthy attachments, making it hard to break free from the cycle.
Also read: 10 telltale signs of attachment issues you should never ignore!
7. Increases vulnerability
Being in an on-and-off relationship can make a person more vulnerable and decrease their ability to trust fully, which can be detrimental to forming meaningful connections in the future.
How to break this cycle?
Breaking away from an on-and-off relationship involves seeking professional help to gain clarity and understanding. It’s important to communicate openly with a friend or therapist about your feelings and needs in the relationship. Recognizing the toxicity and taking steps to address it is crucial for your mental well-being and future relationships.